10 Bachelorette Party Mistakes You Shouldn't Make (2024)

The traditional bachelorette party entails getting all dressed up and spending a night on the town, but over time, the nature of these pre-wedding events has significantly changed. While the stereotypical evening out in the bride’s place of residence definitely still exists, today, more of these affairs are taking place in various destinations across multiple days, whether it’s a spa weekend in Scottsdale or an exciting escapade in Miami. This means there are more details to plan if you’re the bride or maid of honor hosting the function and different etiquette norms to navigate if you’re an invited guest (which is typically bridesmaids and other close friends and family members).

As the style, location, and activities of these events have expanded, so too has the list of potential mistakes that anyone in the group could make. While the bride might neglect filling the planner in on her vision and preferences, the host might have trouble navigating some of the logistics, like the finances and timeline. Meanwhile, any attendee could undermine the experience with the wrong attitude.

Whether you’re the bride, the host, or a guest, we’ve rounded up a list of common pitfalls to avoid, according to the experts. Read on for the bachelorette party mistakes you shouldn’t make.

Bachelorette Party Mistakes the Bride Shouldn’t Make

No matter the size and style of the event, bachelorette parties all have the same purpose: to honor and celebrate the bride. While most brides are VIP guests, some take the reins on planning this pre-wedding event. Whatever your role is, if you’re the bride, there are certain mistakes you must avoid at all costs, which we unpack below.

Withholding Your Vision

Since the bachelorette party is a gathering in honor of you, the location, activities, and style need to reflect your preferences and personality. If your maid of honor or another member of your bridal party is the one organizing the affair, remember to share your vision with them. Otherwise, you won’t fully enjoy your pre-wedding celebration. “We understand the desire not to be a bridezilla, but it’s so much better to communicate anything you’d like to include in your bachelorette itinerary ahead of the planning versus waiting until the last minute [or not telling them at all] and being disappointed,” says Allison Odhner, CEO and planner of Bach to Basic.

Discuss the overall vibe and atmosphere you want for your bachelorette party, and mention some of the activities you’d love to do, whether it’s a boat day, a massage, or a private yoga class, according to Avey Singer and Jolie Lauren Golub, co-founders of BachBoss. Make sure you tell the planner anything that’s off limits, too, like water sports or clubbing, for instance.

Neglecting Conversations About the Budget

If you aren’t planning your own bachelorette party, you might adopt a hands-off approach and let the host figure out all of the logistics, namely the finances. However, as the bride, you typically have the final say. Since the budget affects almost every ensuing decision, from the date to the destination, it should be the first item you discuss with the one planning the celebration.

Odhner recommends two possible routes to take: Choose a location and itinerary and accept that some people might not be able to attend if the price point is too high, or find a spot that accommodates everyone’s budgets. “Not discussing this before planning is a common mistake that leads to guest count changes and potential disappointment throughout the process,” Odhner points out.

Failing to Be Present

Your pre-wedding event will go by in the blink of an eye, so one bachelorette party mistake you might make as the bride is forgetting to be present during it. You could spend the entire time worrying about whether your guests are having fun or thinking about the pending tasks on your wedding to-do list, but you’d overlook an opportunity to spend quality time with your closest friends and family before you tie the knot.

Another culprit that prevents you from living in the moment, according to Odhner, is focusing on the pictures. “Some ways to avoid this are to schedule a photographer to grab some photos of the group, or use our onsite planning service to take content throughout the weekend, so you can put your phone down,” she suggests.

Bachelorette Party Mistakes the Host Shouldn’t Make

Traditionally, the maid of honor is the one who plans the bachelorette party. However, Odhner, Singer, and Golub have all noticed that the one tasked with orchestrating these affairs has changed—many brides actually take charge themselves. Whether you’re the bride, the maid of honor, or another responsible party, here are some of the mistakes the host should steer clear of.

Planning at the Last Minute

Planning a bachelorette party takes time since there are many moving parts, from the décor to the meals. According to Odhner, if you don’t arrange the celebration far enough in advance, the accommodations you had your eye on or a restaurant you wanted to try might book up. Instead of planning this affair at the very last minute—which will only make the experience stressful for you and disappointing for the bride—Odhner recommends starting to arrange the details at least six months out if you’re traveling for it.

Putting Off the Logistics

Curating the perfect color palette and stocking up on party supplies are definitely the more fun parts of the planning process, but one bachelorette party mistake you might make as the host is overlooking some of the other important details, like booking transportation or accommodations. “A lot of times we see the bride or bridesmaids focusing on the decorations and favors ahead of the actual logistics and plans for the weekend—it’s the fun part,” Odhner notes. “But, it will be a lot more fun and less stressful after everything else has been taken care of.”

Overscheduling the Itinerary

We totally get it: There are so many cool landmarks to visit, swanky bars to try, and trendy restaurants to dine at. However, if you flood your itinerary with constant activities, no one will have the energy to truly enjoy them. “A common mistake we see is that there is no room left for the girls to have downtime and rejuvenate,” Singer and Golub remark. Make sure to set aside plenty of time for rest and relaxation—and remember to carve out an hour or so to get ready for each festivity.

Ignoring the Group’s Budget

Another bachelorette party mistake the planner must avoid is overlooking guests’ budgets. Being a member of the wedding party is already a costly job, so it’s important to be mindful of the price of the trip and what you’re asking everyone to pay. If the total bill is too expensive, guests might develop feelings of resentment or adopt a negative attitude toward the event. It could also dissuade some people from accepting the invitation in general. “It is always important to gauge what everyone is comfortable spending, so the planner can make informed decisions based on what they can book,” Singer and Golub say. Like we previously mentioned, make sure you discuss price points with the bride, too.

Bachelorette Party Mistakes the Guests Shouldn’t Make

Whether you’re a bridesmaid or a relative who isn’t in the bridal party, there is also a list of possible mistakes you could make while attending the bachelorette party. Read on for the complete list.

Forgetting That the Bride Is the Focus

“The main mistake guests make at a bachelorette party is forgetting that the event is about the bride,” Odhner says. The soirée will primarily include activities that the bride loves, which might not be your first choice. However, since the fête honors the bride, it’s important to support her and participate in every festivity on the agenda.

If the event is really out of your wheelhouse and you don’t feel comfortable going, etiquette expert Elaine Swann encourages you to let the host know well in advance. That way, you won’t hold anyone up, so the one planning can continue making arrangements. “Connect with the bride and whoever is responsible for planning, and let them know that you won’t be able to attend,” Swann says. “Be honest—if at all possible—and forthcoming.”

Blaming the Planner

Anything can go awry when travel is involved, whether it’s a delayed flight or a late party bus. Another bachelorette party mistake guests make is blaming the main planner for those unexpected issues, per Odhner. “Taking on the task of planning a destination trip for a group of people in a place they may not have traveled to prior is a huge undertaking,” she explains. “There are so many details to coordinate, and it is possible to miss a detail or book a vendor that did not live up to expectations.” Instead of directing all of your frustrations toward the host, accept the situation and try your best to be forgiving and understanding.

Having a Negative Attitude

On that same note, having a negative attitude in general will undermine the experience for everyone. Perhaps you aren’t enthralled by the bowling night or maybe the theme isn’t up your alley. Instead of complaining, focus on the positive and recall why you’re at the event in the first place. “Girls need to remember that the weekend is about the bride and try to keep negative feelings about themes or any aspect of the weekend to themselves,” Singer and Golub advise.