Bridal Shower Dos and Don’ts (2024)

By: WC Editorial Team Read Time: 3 mins Jewelry

August 8, 2023

Weddings are filled with traditions like bridal showers. A bridal shower is a daytime celebration of the bride to be. Friends gather to play games, enjoy delicious food and give their beloved friend some gifts.

Bridal Shower Etiquette

Usually the bridal shower is hosted by the maid of honor, close friends, bridal attendants, or bridesmaids. Family members, including mothers and mothers-in-law, traditionally shouldn't host showers. If multiple showers are in the works, then the shower hosts should communicate regarding the guest lists.

Showers typically occur a couple weeks to a couple months ahead of the wedding. The bride can help with the guest list, but the list shouldn't include people that aren't invited to the wedding. In terms of what to wear for the shower, people typically dress up. Consider wearing something that you'd wear to brunch or lunch.

We compiled a list of dos and don'ts to help you plan a bridal shower.

Dos

  • Do pick a date that isn't close to the wedding. Pick an early date a couple weeks to a couple months ahead of the wedding. You can always check with the “VIPs” on the guest list (mothers, sisters, family, bridal party, etc.) to see if there's a date that works best for that group before sending out invitations.
  • Do create a guest list. Consult the bride regarding the guest list. If the bride is having multiple showers, communicate with the other host to make sure the same people aren't invited to the same showers. It's ok if the bridal party is invited to both. Have the bride review the full guest list before you send out invitations.
  • Do plan an activity or bridal shower games (if the bride wants them). Check with the bride before you get too carried away to make sure she wants games and ask if there's anything that would make her uncomfortable. Simple games can make the shower fun and help guests get to know each other.
  • Do pay attention to bridal shower décor. If your shower has a theme, it can help you select the decorations and other components for the event. Popular themes include a tea party, spa day, or a Parisian getaway. If you plan to hand out favors, the theme can help with this too.
  • Do plan a menu. The shower's food depends on what time you'll have the shower and whether there's a theme. Most serve food to snack on rather than full meals. For example, if the shower is held mid-morning, have mimosas, pastries, and eggs. As you choose the menu, ask guests to let you know about any food allergies and restrictions when they RSVP. Also check with the bride for food preferences.
  • Do create a playlist. If you know the bride's favorite songs, make a playlist and you can always ask her for some song ideas. Add some upbeat, love-themed songs as well.
  • Do send out invitations. Whether a paper invitation or an evite, send out invitations a couple months in advance especially if people are coming from out of town for the shower. If you're sending out paper invitations, save a couple for the bride as mementos.
  • Do collect the bows and ribbons from the present. It's tradition to use the bows and ribbons from gifts to create a ribbon bouquet. Brides typically use this during the wedding rehearsal and then it's a fun keepsake as well.

Don'ts

  • Don't confuse the bridal shower with the bachelorette party. These are two separate events. The shower is a daytime event while the bachelorette is at night and typically
  • Don't post every aspect of the shower on social media. The bride might not want the shower posted everywhere on social media. It could cause issues if the guest list was small.
  • Don't invite anyone who isn't invited to the wedding. It will make it awkward to have a guest at the shower but not on the wedding list. The bride can help you with the guest list.
  • Don't give raunchy gifts at the bridal shower. You don't want to make your bride (or any of her family members) uncomfortable at the shower. Save the sexy lingerie gifts for the bachelorette party instead.
  • Don't feel like you have to plan the whole shower yourself. Enlist the help of the bride's friends to help with the shower. Delegate parts of the shower so you're not overwhelmed - ask what folks would like to help with.

Hopefully this list gave you some helpful dos and don'ts as you plan your next bridal shower.

FAQs

What exactly is a bridal shower?

A bridal shower is a daytime celebration of the bride’s upcoming wedding. Guests attend and typically give gifts to the bride. Showers typically occur a couple weeks to a couple months ahead of the wedding.

What to wear to a bridal shower?

People typically dress up for showers by wearing something they’d wear to brunch or lunch. You could wear a tasteful dress, blouse and dress pants, or perhaps even a sweater and leggings. Some wear jeans and a nice top.

What to write in a bridal shower card?

Write a congratulatory message and then speak from the heart. You can write words of encouragement, advice, etc.

Which are the best bridal shower gifts?

Sometimes bridal showers have themes and the gifts tie into that theme. You can also from the couple’s wedding registry.

Bridal Shower Dos and Don’ts (2024)

FAQs

What are the rules for a bridal shower? ›

Since showers are intended for the bride's nearest and dearest, every shower guest must already be on the wedding guest list. Because it's understood that guests should bring a present to a shower, it's not appropriate to invite people whom you don't plan to include in the wedding.

What is supposed to happen at a bridal shower? ›

The bride will open her gifts in front of the guests and often express her gratitude with a short speech. And opening gifts isn't the only thing the bride does at this event. In addition to gift giving, bridal showers may also involve playing games, eating great food, and having the bride's favorite drinks.

Who should not host a bridal shower? ›

Traditional etiquette dictates that the maid of honor—not the mother of the bride—should host the shower. Nancy is a freelance writer for MarthaStewart.com. Some etiquette rules were meant to fade away into oblivion, like the one about family members of the bride not hosting her bridal shower.

What colors should you not wear to a bridal shower? ›

And if there's going to be games opt to wear something comfortable. Avoid wearing white, black, or anything that may detract from the wedding festivities. Bridal showers can range from formality, location, and season, so be sure to dress to fit the occasion.

Who pays for a bridal shower? ›

In short, the host is the one who pays for the bridal shower—or at least some of it. Most commonly, this is the maid of honor, but the couple's relatives, friends or even the to-be-weds themselves can all pitch in to cover the cost of the wedding shower.

Who usually throws the bride a bridal shower? ›

Today, it's common for the maid of honor or matron of honor — sometimes in conjunction with the mother of the bride — to plan the shower. However, the bridesmaids, wedding party, and the bride's family can all pitch in if necessary. Another modern trend is to make bridal showers gender inclusive.

Do I bring a gift to a bridal shower? ›

In short, yes. If you're attending a bridal shower, you should always bring a gift with you to congratulate the bride. This is considered good bridal shower etiquette. Even if you're a part of the bridal party or wedding party, a gift is still necessary.

How many hours should bridal shower be? ›

Bridal showers typically last 2-4 hours and are not considered an all-day event. Although, depending on the type of shower you are hosting the time can vary. Most showers will either take place in the morning and serve as a brunch, or in the afternoon served with lunch or finger foods.

What is a tradition at bridal showers? ›

Tradition: Gifts are mandatory—and you open them in front of everyone. Everyone invited to a bridal shower is expected to bring a gift for the bride or couple (if it's a wedding shower). The bride or couple then open each gift in front of their guests.

What food to serve at a bridal shower? ›

Fabulous Bridal Shower Finger Foods
  • Crescent Vegetable Appetizers. Quick & Easy Crab Dip. Veggie Dippers. Open-Faced Turkey Sandwiches.
  • Veggie Crescent Cups. Flower Fruit Kabobs with Luscious Fruit Dip. Watermelon & Blackberry Bites. ...
  • Mini Rainbow Fruit Kabobs. Fruit Jersey Cake. Balsamic Fruit & Cheese Kabobs.
May 19, 2023

What is etiquette for a bridal shower? ›

A shower should be an intimate party—not a gathering that rivals the wedding—so the guest list is usually made up of the couple's close friends, family, and attendants. The host usually consults the bride to be sure that shower guests are wedding guests.

Does mother of bride help with a bridal shower? ›

"Under optimum circ*mstances, the attendants in the bridal party would host the shower," said Gottsman. According to Gottsman, the mother of the bride (MOB) should be a guest, but should not participate.

Do fathers attend bridal showers? ›

Do men come to Bridal Showers? It's all up to the bride and groom. Typically, the Groom, Father of the Bride and Father of the Groom are invited. The Grandfather of the Bride and/or Groom may also be considered.

What does the mother in law do for the bridal shower? ›

Bridal Shower Etiquette

Typically, as per tradition, the mother of the groom will bring a gift for the bride to the bridal shower. It can be something small and thoughtful. However, if she cannot attend the shower the bride's side of the family hosts, maybe because of distance, she can host her own.

Do you give a gift if you throw a bridal shower? ›

While some people argue that the shower itself is a gift, it's generally customary for the host to give a gift just like everyone else.

What is inappropriate to wear to a bridal shower? ›

“Nothing too risqué, nothing to overshadow the bride in any way, and nothing too formal,” says Abbasi. “Go with fun, comfortable, and whatever makes you feel your best self.” Simply put, no white ensembles, no outfits with extravagant silhouettes, like ball gowns, and no skin-barring getups.

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