Some etiquette rules were meant to fade away into oblivion, like the one about family members of the bride not hosting her bridal shower. That's right: Every shower you've attended that was hosted by the mother of the bride actually broke with traditional etiquette—who knew? The concern with having a familial host was that, since the party is all about people bringing, or "showering," the bride with gifts, it was considered tacky for her family to be asking for presents.
In modern times, however, many people other than the maid of honor have taken on the role of bridal party host. And we're here to tell you there's nothing tacky about loved ones hosting a shower. Anyone who's close to the bride, including her mother, sister, aunt, cousin, even her grandma, can host. Here, we explore the choices.
For years, while the maid of honor and maybe even the bridesmaids were acting as hosts and getting all the glory, the mothers of the bride were, in fact, the shower's silent partner—banker, really—and were responsible for making all of the party arrangements and paying most, if not all, of the bills. Let her step into the spotlight she deserves. Now, many mothers of the bride plan their daughter's shower and list themselves as the host on the invitations.
She's most likely the maid of honor or a bridesmaid, so she fits right in as part of the group that most often hosts a bridal shower. Plus, having the bride's sister host means she'll be able to manage the bulk of the guest list on her own—she already know which family members should be involved.
Aunt
Everyone's got a favorite aunt, and the bride's happens to be more than thrilled to be hosting her niece's bridal shower. Expect a few extended family members to be added to the guest list, though.
Cousin
Many brides are so close to a cousin that they consider her more like a sister. If she finds out that the bridesmaids can't handle planning a bridal shower, either financially or because of other commitments, she's the one to come to the rescue and prepare for hosting duties.
Grandma
She may have to be talked into the hosting role—she's only familiar with the no-relative rule—but once she's been convinced no one will be outraged, she'll be happy to create a memorable shower for her beloved granddaughter.
In modern times, however, many people other than the maid of honor have taken on the role of bridal party host. And we're here to tell you there's nothing tacky about loved ones hosting a shower. Anyone who's close to the bride, including her mother, sister, aunt, cousin
cousin
first cousin (plural first cousins) A child of a parent's sibling; a nephew or niece of a parent; a child of one's uncle or aunt. A relative who has with the other person only two grandparents or one grandparent (maternal or paternal) in common, but parents are different.
The maid of honor traditionally takes on the role of chief shower planner. But she isn't a one-woman show: She relies on the bridesmaids to help her with planning logistics. On the day of, the girls run the party, making sure everything goes smoothly and that guests are taken care of.
Traditionally, the bridal shower was hosted by the maid of honor and bridesmaids, not the mother of the bride or her future mother-in-law. Why? Because an event being hosted by a bride's mother, mother-in-law, or any relatives made it appear as if the woman of honor and her family members were asking for gifts.
Today, it's common for the maid of honor or matron of honor — sometimes in conjunction with the mother of the bride — to plan the shower. However, the bridesmaids, wedding party, and the bride's family can all pitch in if necessary. Another modern trend is to make bridal showers gender inclusive.
Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't host the bridal shower (the maid of honor typically assumes the chief shower-planning role), however, your daughter will likely want you to be a part of the celebration.
In short, the host is the one who pays for the bridal shower—or at least some of it. Most commonly, this is the maid of honor, but the couple's relatives, friends or even the to-be-weds themselves can all pitch in to cover the cost of the wedding shower.
Answer: Tradition says that a shower shouldn't be thrown by the bride's immediate relatives, including future in-laws, because it might give the impression that you're asking for gifts.
Traditionally, hosts of the bridal shower will also give the bride a gift. If you're hosting a shower alone (which is quite rare), a small, personal gift would be more than appropriate.
Since showers are intended for the bride's nearest and dearest, every shower guest must already be on the wedding guest list. Because it's understood that guests should bring a present to a shower, it's not appropriate to invite people whom you don't plan to include in the wedding.
That works out at $300 to $800 for a 20-person party but can go as high as $150 per person or $3,000 for a 20-person shower. Based on these estimates and an average bridal shower guest list of 35-50 people, a reasonable budget for a bridal shower is between $350 and $7,500.
"We often see the maid of honor assist in covering the cost of the bridal shower (often in conjunction with a family member of the bride), covering her own costs and some of the costs of the bride for the bachelorette party (in conjunction with the rest of the bridesmaids), her own travel to and from the wedding, a ...
While it is traditional (although not obligatory) for the mother and father of the bride to receive a thank you gift from the newlyweds on the big day, a little memento from the bride's parents to their daughter is also becoming more popular.
So, a basic rule of wedding etiquette is that the mother of the bride should not outshine her daughter. So, don't choose gowns or dresses that would overpower the bridal gown. Also, try to avoid loud patterns that will overwhelm in photos and make you stand out from the rest of the wedding party.
"The opportunity to give a speech at your daughter's bridal shower is fleeting, so you'll want to remember it fondly," he says. A bridal shower speech from the mother of the bride can be given at any time that seems appropriate, says Hester Parks, who owns Park Avenue Events in Atlanta.
If there are no plans for a shower two months in advance of the wedding, it is safe for the bride to go ahead and ask her maid of honor to host a shower for her. If the bridal party is not able to host the shower for financial reasons, the bride may ask her mother or the mother of the groom to host the shower.
The groom's family traditionally paid for all costs associated with the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon, wedding day transportation, and the officiant. The groom paid for the bride's engagement ring, wedding ring, and groomsmen gifts. It is also common for the groom's family to pay for the alcohol at the reception.
Consider heirloom-worthy serveware or a handmade book featuring your family's secret recipes. Alternatively, opt for items she'll likely need for the wedding. Think: a luxurious getting-ready robe, something blue or travel essentials for the honeymoon.
Introduction: My name is Mrs. Angelic Larkin, I am a cute, charming, funny, determined, inexpensive, joyous, cheerful person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.
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:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/kara-bridal-shower-signage-248-6387577-0917-2000-8ebc3afe64ef4d3b9dc3e1bc1945b787.jpg "Can One of the Bride's Relative Host the Bridal Shower? (1)")
