Even though modern couples are breaking wedding traditions left and right, there's one big-day convention that doesn't appear to be going away anytime soon: parents paying for at least a portion of the wedding. Though many couples do pay for some of the wedding today, it seems as though a hefty percentage of the ceremony and reception is still being financed by one or both sides of the family. According to the Brides American Wedding Study, parents cover anywhere between 35 and 42 percent of the cost of their children's weddings.
If you are following the rules of tradition, the bride's family is expected to bear the brunt of the expenses including the wedding dress, bridesmaids' gifts, the wedding planner or coordinator, the invitations, the flowers, the reception, photography, the groom’s wedding ring, music, any pre-wedding day meals for the wedding party and transportation and lodging for the bride's family and bridesmaids, as well as transportation for wedding guests, if needed. The groom’s family is traditionally responsible for the bride’s engagement ring and wedding ring(s), all groom attire, groomsmen gifts, boutonnières and corsages for appropriate wedding party and family members, the officiant's fee, the marriage license, rehearsal dinner costs and transportation and lodging for the groom's family and groomsmen.
If the two of you would like your parents' assistance, keep these tips in mind.
Start the Dialogue Early
Have a heart-to-heart conversation about the wedding and ask them outright: “How do you feel about contributing to the wedding?” or "How would you want to be a part of wedding planning?” This is clear and polite. Be mindful of their own financial situation—the last thing you want to do is have your parents take on an undue financial burden just to fund your dream wedding—and definitely don’t wait until the last minute when all the bills need to be paid. This should be a long-term conversation that starts early on in the wedding planning process.
Be Specific
Once you have a clear idea of what needs to be paid for, based on contracts you've signed with your venue(s) and vendors—which should fall in line with your pre-established wedding budget—be really specific about what you would like your parents to cover. Assign them a particular part of the wedding, such as the rehearsal dinner, florals, reception venue and vendor costs. Feel free to break from traditions about who pays for what if, for example, both sets of parents will be contributing roughly the same amount, or one set of parents has their heart set on paying for a specific thing.
If the two of you are covering a portion of the expenses yourselves, one way of divvying up the overall wedding day budget is to ask your parents to pay for a segment of the guests attending, either by percentage or based on the number of family members (and family friends) that have RSVP'd to attend.
Avoid Comparisons
A gift is a gift—be thankful for any and all contributions from your parents and any other family members, too. Avoid comparisons between how much each side is giving and definitely be careful when it comes to telling your respective families how much the other side is contributing. As Rachel Wilkerson of Lover.ly, a search engine that helps brides-to-be save on costs, explains, “Weddings bring up a lot of expectations and social pressure for parents; telling them exactly how much your partner's family can afford can really sting. So avoid mentioning it and try to keep the conversation focused on the number that makes them most comfortable.”
Clarify Any Expectations
Will a financial contribution from either set of parents come with any strings attached? If one side of the family offers to pay for a majority of the wedding, will they expect to have more say when it comes to the wedding guest list, décor, wedding and reception location, even the menu? Make sure these type of expectations are clear from the get-go to avoid any surprises that may lead to wedding planning tension down the line.
FAQs
Every couple's situation is different. A 2021 study by WeddingWire showed parents paid for 52% of wedding expenses. 5 However, this may be radically different per wedding. In some cases, parents may decide to cover all expenses, while parents are more willing (and able) to pay a small portion.
Do parents still pay for a wedding? ›
While traditionally, the bride's parents were responsible for hosting (and paying for) the entire celebration, today, many couples join both sets of parents in contributing.
What is the average contribution of parents to a wedding? ›
Want specific statistics? According to a recent survey by The Knot, on average, parents contribute to 51% of the wedding budget, while couples cover the remaining 49% percent.
How much should I contribute to my daughter's wedding? ›
On average the bride's parents contribute 44% of the wedding budget, the couple contributes 43%, and the groom's parents give 13%, according to The Knot.
How much should we contribute to our son's wedding? ›
According to the Brides American Wedding Study, parents cover anywhere between 35 and 42 percent of the cost of their children's weddings.
Am I obligated to pay for my daughter's wedding? ›
Traditionally, parents pay for children's weddings. Although the bride's side will cater for most expenses, this is not mandatory. Again, there's no set age at which parents should stop paying for their children's weddings. In our opinion, parents should chip in what they feel comfortable, no matter the age.
Is it still tradition for bride's parents to pay for wedding? ›
Key Takeaways. Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the wedding, but that custom is rapidly changing. Couples are increasingly choosing to handle at least half of the wedding expenses on their own. Early planning and a written budget can help avoid miscommunication when deciding who pays for what.
How much should groom's parents pay for a wedding? ›
According to traditional etiquette, the groom's family is responsible for paying for the bride's rings, the groom's and groomsmen's attire, the rehearsal dinner, gifts for the groomsmen, some personal flowers, the officiant's fee, the marriage license fee, certain aspects of transportation, and the honeymoon.
How much do parents give their kids for a wedding? ›
In other words, gifts can be $68,000 per parent couple, or up to $136,000 if both sets of parents gift to each child. That's enough to pay for the average wedding, even in in New York City. If the wedding is going to cost even more, O'Leary recommends the gift money be spread over more than a year.
How much to give a daughter for a wedding gift? ›
Bottom line: There's no hard-and-fast rule on how much cash to give as a wedding gift. Wedding experts do, however, advise starting at $100. From there, you may want to adjust up to $500 based on factors such as your relationship with the couple, your budget and the cost of your attendance at the wedding.
In short, there is no age limit or exact etiquette for when parents do not pay for their children's wedding costs, says Tonya Hoopes, owner of Hoopes Events.
Do parents give their daughter a wedding gift? ›
Do parents give their daughter a gift on her wedding day? Yes, it's traditional for the parents of the bride to give her a gift on her wedding day, such as jewelry, money, or something sentimental.
Who pays for a daughter's wedding when parents are divorced? ›
It's best, of course, if parents can communicate with each other and work out how much they can and will pay for together. This can allow your child to focus on all of the other parts of the wedding planning. Your financial contribution does not need to be equal to your ex's contribution. Do what feels right to you.
How much should a parent pay for a wedding? ›
If you don't feel you can be on the hook for an entire wedding, you have statistics that can back you up. So here's how it breaks down. On average, the bride's parents usually spend 44 percent of the overall budget, while the couple contributes 43 percent and the groom's parents pop for about 12 percent.
What is the etiquette for parents of the bride? ›
During the ceremony, the father of the bride sits to the left of the aisle with the mother of the bride. After the ceremony and before the reception, the father of the bride stands in the receiving line next to the mother of the bride to greet guests. During the reception, the father of the bride acts as the host.
Do parents give their son a wedding gift? ›
Watching your son get married is an emotional time for any parent—and choosing a thoughtful gift for your son on his wedding day is a sweet opportunity to show him how proud you are of the man he grew up to be.
At what age do parents stop paying for weddings? ›
So based on this data, it seems like once couples hit their late 30s or early 40s, parents pay for a smaller portion of the wedding, or don't contribute at all. In short, there is no age limit or exact etiquette for when parents do not pay for their children's wedding costs, says Tonya Hoopes, owner of Hoopes Events.
Should you ask parents to pay for wedding? ›
Remember that it's not a requirement for parents to help pay for the wedding, so it's best to go into the conversation without predetermined expectations on either side.
How do parents split wedding costs? ›
The different parties can offer to pay for certain aspects of the celebration. The bride's and groom's parents can split the costs; alternatively, each set of parents and the couple can each pay one-third of the cost. Finally, it's increasingly common for the bride and groom to pay for the whole wedding themselves.
