The celebration of your love does not begin and end at the wedding and reception. There are several wedding celebrations for the bride and groom alike. And some of the most beloved is the wedding and bridal shower. But, in the grand scheme of things, what is the difference between the wedding shower vs bridal shower, and do you need to have them both? We want to give you some clarity on that today.
But, TLDR; Bridal Shower = party for the bride vs. Wedding Shower = party for the couple.
What Is A Shower?
Whether we are talking about a baby shower, bridal shower, wedding shower, or any other “shower”-type party, the major component of the celebration is for the showeree’s closest friends and family to come and “shower” them with love and gifts. Traditionally, it is a way for a community to come together to get someone ready for the next chapter of their lives. That’s why we often see gift registries lined with practical items like toasters, dishware, and other necessities. It is to help the new couple move into their marriage with some stability and the things they need to build their home together. So, with both the wedding and bridal shower, you will find this tradition as a staple of the event.
History Of The Bridal Shower
Now, you may be wondering where on earth this tradition came from. And the story is pretty fascinating. This tradition is not new at all. We can trace the history of bridal showers back to the 1500s in Holland. The story goes that a disapproving father decided not to gift the traditional dowry to his daughter and her soon-to-be husband. So, the lucky bride’s friends got together and gifted her some items on their own. This turned out to be a beautiful thing, and the father softened his view on the marriage and ended up supporting them after all. And so, a new tradition was born.
Who Is The Host Of A Bridal Shower?
Things start to get a little different with each of these celebrations via the “Who” and “What” avenues of planning—who is the party for, and what will you do? Typically, a bridal shower is for the bride and hosted by the bridal party—see the historical dowry story above. One of the primary jobs of a maid of honor, for instance, is to plan and throw the bridal shower alongside the rest of the bridal party. But this is not always the case. Sometimes a couple may decide to forego parties altogether, their parents might want the honor of hosting them, or they may opt for the more inclusive wedding shower (which we will get into in a little bit). All these options and more are glimpses of our modern take on the tradition.
Who Is Invited To A Bridal Shower?
A typical bridal shower will include the closest friends and family of the bride. It will most likely include their bridal party (if they have announced that yet), close family, and people the bride would like to celebrate with.
What Will You Do?
A shower isn’t just a time to watch your loved one open up gifts. There’s typically food or tapas, some beverages, and games like wedding mad libs and pass the love story. It’s a time to chat with people who will be at the wedding and kick off the official celebrations.
So, What Is A Wedding Shower?
The wedding shower is where things shift a bit. While the history of these shower-type events has revolved around the bride, modern couples have begun to host these showers together, creating a larger and more party-centric pre-wedding event.
Who Is The Host Of The Wedding Shower?
You will often see the bridal party throwing the shower like a bridal shower. But, depending on the couple, you could see their family hosting or even a self-hosted party. The tradition is more modern here, so if someone wants to throw this event, the couple would likely welcome them.
Who Is Invited To A Wedding Shower?
While a typical bridal shower can be gender-specific or highly focused on the bride’s side, a wedding shower includes all! It’s usually a larger event that has more of a party atmosphere.
What Will You Do At A Wedding Shower?
You will often find fewer games, more cocktails, and a much less structured event. Essentially bring the love you have for the happy couple, a nice gift, and be ready to celebrate.
Which Event Should You Choose?
Well, we think variety is the spice of life, so if you are someone who wants a dedicated party for yourself, do it. If you would like to celebrate with your partner, do that. And, if you wish to do both—there are no rules. Your wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Make it what you want.
If you are looking for the perfect bridal shower venue in San Diego or a place to throw a wedding shower, our team is here for you. With venues big and small, indoor and outdoor, we have the perfect spot for your dream celebration.
FAQs
A bridal shower honors the member of the couple who identifies as the bride; for a wedding with two brides, it can honor either (or both). A wedding shower honors a couple—and, like a bridal shower, is planned by friends or family members of either partner.
What's the difference between a bridal shower and a wedding shower? ›
The bridal shower is designed for just you and the girls while the wedding shower is a co-ed party where the bride and groom both get showered with gifts and love. If you're a bride who loves to party and celebrate, then have both a wedding shower and bridal shower!
How far apart is bridal shower and wedding? ›
Timing Is Everything
Most bridal showers are usually held three weeks to three months before the wedding. The trick is not to plan it too far in advance or too close to the wedding date.
Who pays for a wedding shower? ›
In short, the host is the one who pays for the bridal shower—or at least some of it. Most commonly, this is the maid of honor, but the couple's relatives, friends or even the to-be-weds themselves can all pitch in to cover the cost of the wedding shower.
How many people usually go to a wedding shower? ›
Bridal Shower Guest List Size. An intimate bridal shower for 15 people is perfectly normal, as is a 50-person coed shower that feels more like a cocktail party. A variety of factors can influence the size of the guest list, such as: the shower location.
Who is supposed to give you a bridal shower? ›
The Traditional Bridal Shower Host
The maid of honor traditionally takes on the role of chief shower planner. But she isn't a one-woman show: She relies on the bridesmaids to help her with planning logistics. On the day of, the girls run the party, making sure everything goes smoothly and that guests are taken care of.
What's the point of a bridal shower? ›
The purpose: to shower the bride with good wishes, congratulations, and gifts. It's as simple as that! During a bridal shower, guests come together to celebrate the bride and have some fun. The event usually includes activities, games, and sometimes even a theme.
Is the husband at the bridal shower? ›
It's totally up to you and your fiancé to decide whether he will attend the bridal shower. Modern etiquette suggests that he show up toward the end of the shower to say hello and help stock up the car full of gifts. Some men even drop in for a few fun games.
Should a bride open gifts at the shower? ›
The decision ultimately is yours. It could be a very special moment and nostalgic and it's totally fine to do it! But if it makes you uncomfortable and you'd rather spend the time doing another interactive activity with guests or mingling – that's fine too! Looking for an elegant venue to host your bridal shower?
What is a normal budget for a bridal shower? ›
That works out at $300 to $800 for a 20-person party but can go as high as $150 per person or $3,000 for a 20-person shower. Based on these estimates and an average bridal shower guest list of 35-50 people, a reasonable budget for a bridal shower is between $350 and $7,500.
Traditional etiquette dictates that the maid of honor—not the mother of the bride—should host the shower. Nancy is a freelance writer for MarthaStewart.com. Some etiquette rules were meant to fade away into oblivion, like the one about family members of the bride not hosting her bridal shower.
What do the groom's parents pay for? ›
The groom's family traditionally paid for all costs associated with the rehearsal dinner and honeymoon, wedding day transportation, and the officiant. The groom paid for the bride's engagement ring, wedding ring, and groomsmen gifts. It is also common for the groom's family to pay for the alcohol at the reception.
What is a normal size bridal shower? ›
Traditionally, a shower is an intimate affair with only the future spouse's (or spouses') closest friends and family in attendance. For some people, however, bigger is better, and the guest list becomes more extensive (and therefore more costly). In 2023, the average bridal shower size is 30 guests.
How many hours should a bridal shower be? ›
Bridal showers typically last 2-4 hours and are not considered an all-day event. Although, depending on the type of shower you are hosting the time can vary. Most showers will either take place in the morning and serve as a brunch, or in the afternoon served with lunch or finger foods.
Who is normally invited to a bridal shower? ›
A bridal shower is a more intimate gathering than a wedding and the guest list usually consists of the bride-to-be's closest female friends and relatives, including close relatives of the soon-to-be-bride's spouse.
What do you do at a wedding shower? ›
The wedding shower is an opportunity for the couple's closest relatives and friends to meet and celebrate before the wedding. The party takes place a few weeks or months before the wedding and typically involves light hors d'oeuvres, games and watching the couple open their registry gifts.
Who throws wedding shower for bride? ›
Today, it's common for the maid of honor or matron of honor — sometimes in conjunction with the mother of the bride — to plan the shower. However, the bridesmaids, wedding party, and the bride's family can all pitch in if necessary. Another modern trend is to make bridal showers gender inclusive.
Why is it called a wedding shower? ›
Why Is It Called a Bridal Shower? The original tradition is that the ladies would drop small gifts into a parasol, explains Keith Willard, event planner and owner of Keith Willard Events, and the bride-to-be would open the parasol and be "showered" with gifts.
Do you bring gifts to a wedding shower? ›
In short, yes. If you're attending a bridal shower, you should always bring a gift with you to congratulate the bride.
