Wediquette Wednesday: Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower? (2024)

WediquetteWednesday: Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower? (1)

EachWednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)

Question:My sister is engaged, and we are in the process of deciding who will host her main bridal shower. Our grandmother says our mom isn’t supposed to host one at all, but a lot of our friend’s moms have done this in the past. Our mom not only wants to host it, but also her house has the best space for it and is in the perfect locations. Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower?

Answer:While your grandmother is correct that historically the mother of the bride did not host a bridal shower, it’s one of those rules of etiquette that has fallen away. It used to be viewed as a ‘gift grab’ when the shower was hosted by a member of the bride’s immediate family. Instead, we’d often see the in-laws, bridesmaids or family friends do it. However, it’s now acceptable for anyone who wants to throw it to do the honors and, of course, there also can be multiple showers for the different groups in the couple’s lives.

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or emailMelanie@MyNewOrleans.com.

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Wediquette Wednesday: Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower? (2024)

FAQs

Wediquette Wednesday: Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower? ›

Answer: Tradition says that a shower shouldn't be thrown by the bride's immediate relatives, including future in-laws, because it might give the impression that you're asking for gifts.

Can the mother of the bride host a bridal shower? ›

The Traditional Bridal Shower Host

The maid of honor isn't the only option, however. Anyone who is close to the bride—including her mother, sister, cousin, grandma, or future mother-in-law—can host. It used to be that immediate family members were never named as official hosts.

Can your mom throw you a bridal shower? ›

In modern times, however, many people other than the maid of honor have taken on the role of bridal party host. And we're here to tell you there's nothing tacky about loved ones hosting a shower. Anyone who's close to the bride, including her mother, sister, aunt, cousin, even her grandma, can host.

Who normally hosts the bridal shower? ›

Traditionally, the bridal shower was hosted by the maid of honor and bridesmaids, not the mother of the bride or her future mother-in-law. Why? Because an event being hosted by a bride's mother, mother-in-law, or any relatives made it appear as if the woman of honor and her family members were asking for gifts.

What should a mother say at a bridal shower? ›

A mother of the bride speech should:

Talk about meeting their new partner for the first time, getting to know them and welcoming them into the family. Offer wise and funny advice to the couple. Finish with a toast to the newlyweds.

Who should not host a bridal shower? ›

Who may host a shower? It had long been considered a breach of etiquette for the bride's family members to host showers. Why? Because the main point of a shower is to give gifts to the bride and it could seem as if her family were asking for gifts.

Who is responsible for throwing a bridal shower for the bride? ›

Today, it's common for the maid of honor or matron of honor — sometimes in conjunction with the mother of the bride — to plan the shower. However, the bridesmaids, wedding party, and the bride's family can all pitch in if necessary. Another modern trend is to make bridal showers gender inclusive.

Should a mother give her daughter a bridal shower? ›

Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't host the bridal shower (the maid of honor typically assumes the chief shower-planning role), however, your daughter will likely want you to be a part of the celebration.

Does the brides mom pay for the bridal shower? ›

According to standard etiquette practice, a bridal shower is paid for by the person hosting the event, who, in most cases, is the maid of honor.

What does a mother in law give to daughter in law at bridal shower? ›

Designer accessories make excellent bridal shower gifts from the mother of the groom. Treat your future daughter-in-law to a stunning handbag or silk scarf from a high-end brand. These showstopping accessories will have her feeling like a million bucks on her special day.

What is the mother of the bride responsible for? ›

A key mother of the bride task on the day of the wedding is to host the reception with the other parents. Take the time to chat to guests, thank them for coming, ensure everything is happening as it should be and just generally make sure the day is running smoothly.

Who typically pays for a bridal shower? ›

In short, the host is the one who pays for the bridal shower—or at least some of it. Most commonly, this is the maid of honor, but the couple's relatives, friends or even the to-be-weds themselves can all pitch in to cover the cost of the wedding shower.

What is the etiquette for the mother of the bride at the bridal shower? ›

Wondering whose responsibility it is to host the shower? Gottsman says the bridal party. "Under optimum circ*mstances, the attendants in the bridal party would host the shower," said Gottsman. According to Gottsman, the mother of the bride (MOB) should be a guest, but should not participate.

What does a mother say to her daughter on her wedding day? ›

Congratulations on your wedding day! To my darling daughter, your wedding day is only the beginning! You and [spouse's name] have so much to look forward to, and I can't wait to be there to share it with you. Being a mother was something I always wanted, but I never thought it would make me this happy!

What does the mother of the bride give her daughter? ›

Jewellery has always been a timeless and cherished gift for weddings. Consider gifting your daughter a piece of personalised jewellery, such as a necklace, bracelet, or ring, with her name, initials, or wedding date engraved on it.

What does mother of bride pay for? ›

Traditionally, the bride's family assumed most of the financial costs associated with a wedding, including the wedding planner, invitations, dress, ceremony, reception, flowers, photography, and music.

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