With all of the planning that goes into pulling off the perfect bridal shower, you may have forgotten about one of the most important parts: the guest list!
So just who do you invite to a bridal shower? And perhaps even more importantly, who doesn’t get an invitation?
To help you decide who does (and doesn‘t) make the cut, we’re breaking it down group by group, providing some guest list tips, and answering the most frequently asked questions when it comes to bridal shower guest list etiquette.
Bridal Shower Guest List Etiquette Tips
1. Average number of guests to invite to a bridal shower
The answer to this question is dependent on a variety of factors, the most relevant being the size of the wedding guest list. For example, someone hosting a 200 person wedding will have more bridal shower guests to invite than someone hosting a wedding half the size.
With that being said, our experience shows us that the average number of guests at a bridal shower is about 25, with 20-30 being the average range.
Obviously, the number of guests has a huge impact on the bridal shower budget. The more people there are, the more expensive it’s going to be! So if the Maid of Honor and bridal party doesn’t have a large budget set aside for the bridal shower, the guest list can’t be extensive.
Ultimately, it’s up to the bride-to-be and bridal shower host to make the final decision.
2. Do not invite someone to a bridal shower but not to the wedding
According to bridal shower guest list etiquette, under no circ*mstances should you invite someone to the bridal shower without also inviting them to the wedding. This is considered extremely tacky and rude.
It is only acceptable to have someone attend the bridal shower that is not attending the wedding if that guest was invited but cannot make the wedding for personal reasons.
3. There doesn’t have to be just one bridal shower
If budget allows, and there are willing hosts, having multiple bridal showers can be the answer to all guest list woes. If there are multiple guest lists and you can’t see how to combine them into one shower, why not have a few different showers?
If you have a very large family or a large group of close friends, it may make sense to break them up, especially if your friends might prefer it to turn into something wild!
Similarly, your colleagues may want to throw you a work shower, or your book club may want to celebrate with just your group. And that’s all fine as long as there is somebody to take the reigns and plan it – these additional showers should not also fall on the shoulders of the bridal party.
4. The host makes most of the key decisions
It’s the host’s job to make key decisions about the bridal shower. These decisions include the guest list, venue, games, and even the theme. As the bride, you’ll already be dealing with these things when it comes to your big day.
So while the host might come to you and ask for your opinion on things, 95% of the organization will be out of your hands. Your only job is to sit back and enjoy yourself.
5. Consider male guests too!
While bridal showers traditionally only have female guests, it’s common now for male guests to make the guest list. It’s important to note that this will likely have an impact on the theme and the activity though. However, it doesn’t have to be a sore point. Also, consider co-ed showers, it’ll be nice to celebrate with your future spouse.
6. Don’t forget about invitation etiquette
One of the most important things for the host to do is send the bridal shower invitations. Without the invites, guests won’t know who the bridal shower is for or when it’s taking place. I’d say these were vital pieces of information!
When to send the invite
It’s recommended to send invites six to eight weeks before the bridal shower is due to take place. This gives the guests plenty of time to send their RSVP’s. If you’ve got out-of-town guests attending, the invites could be sent even earlier so they can make the necessary travel arrangements to be there to celebrate with you.
Don’t forget to include registry information
As a bridal shower guest, it’s generally expected that a gift will be given to the bride-to-be (unless otherwise indicated). However, asking for a specific gift can be a bit uncomfortable! One of the ways around it is for the bride to create a wedding registry and then the host can add this information to the invitation. Something like:
- [Bride] is registered at [chosen store/website]
This is an easy way to mention gifts to the guests without creating an awkward situation.
Make the invites about the bride
The invitations are a good way to inject some of the bride’s personality into the event. After all, you’re all gathering to celebrate her so why shouldn’t the invites be personal? Alternatively, the theme can also be introduced to the guests via the invitations. This could be a fun way to reveal the theme and see how they all feel about it.
Digital or physical invitations?
The days of only physical invitations are over. With more and more people conscious of the environmental impact of invites, digital invitations are becoming more and more popular. Also consider the last time you sent a physical letter versus the last time you sent a text or email?
Digital invitations are a modern alternative and should be seriously considered. Etsy and Greenvelope are some great options for digital invitations.
Who Gets a Bridal Shower Invitation?
So now we get to the crux of the matter! We can break it down into five main groups of people who should receive an invitation to the bridal shower:
The Bridal Party
First and foremost, the maid of honor and bridesmaids make the top of the guest list, especially because they’re most likely the ones throwing the shower. If the bride is ok with having children attend her bridal shower, this group may also include the flower girl and any junior bridesmaids as well.
Immediate Family
Next to the bridal party at the top of the guest list is the bride’s immediate female family members. This includes her mother, sisters (if they aren’t already bridesmaids), and any children of the bride and/or groom.
Close Female Relatives
After the immediate family comes the bride’s close female relatives like grandmothers, aunts, and cousins. Again, if the bride welcomes children at her bridal shower, this group may also include nieces.
The Groom’s Relatives
Next on the list is the bride’s future inlaws including the groom’s mother, sisters, grandmothers, and any close aunts and cousins. As with the bride’s family, this may also include the groom’s nieces.
Close Female Friends
The last group to round out the bridal shower guest list is close female friends of both the bride and groom. This includes friends from childhood, college, and any other friends that are in the couple’s close social circle.
Who Does Not Get Invited to the Bridal Shower?
Barring special circ*mstances, these three groups do not receive a bridal shower invitation:
Coworkers
There’s often confusion about whether coworkers should be invited to the bridal shower, but traditionally this group does not make the guest list cut. The exception would be for coworkers with whom the bride socializes outside of the job and/or those she considers close friends.
However, there’s nothing wrong with having a bridal shower at the office. Speak to your co-workers and if they want to organize something for you, let them. It could be as simple as a cake to share or a gathering for lunch at your favorite restaurant before the wedding.
Friends of Relatives
As the bridal shower is meant to be an intimate celebration, friends of the bride’s relatives should not receive an invitation. The exception for this group would be friends that are considered family, like MOB’s best friend from childhood who the bride calls “aunt”.
Plus Ones/Non-Family Significant Others
The final group who does not require an invite to the bridal shower would be plus ones or non-family significant others. In other words, the groomsmens’ wedding dates or the bride’s brother’s girlfriend of two months
Bridal Shower Guest List Etiquette FAQS
Now that you know who and who not to invite, here are some additional frequently asked questions about the bridal shower guest list.
Do you have to invite every woman to the bridal shower?
Unless you are having a small, intimate wedding, then no you do not have to (nor should you) invite every woman to the bridal shower.
Again, the bridal shower is meant to be a celebration for very close friends and family members while the wedding is the main party.
Does the groom go to the bridal shower?
Traditionally, the groom does not go to the bridal shower. The exception of course is if the couple is hosting a coed shower.
That being said, it is common for the groom to arrive at the end of the bridal shower to say hello to guests and help the bride transport her gifts home.
Who Do You Invite to a Bridal Shower? Our Final Thoughts …
At the end of the day, it’s down to the bride who to invite to her bridal shower and how many showers she has. There’s no “right way” to do it, only what feels right to her and her circ*mstances. As long as the bride and her husband-to-be are happy, that’s all that matters.
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