When you're caught up in the excitement of your wedding, it can be hard to imagine that you and your spouse might not live happily ever after. But sharing your life with another person can be a challenge, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with relationships. Marriages take work, commitment, and love, but they also need respect to be truly happy and successful.
A marriage based on love and respect doesn't just happen. Both spouses have to do their part. Below are some important keys to work on each day to make your marriage successful.
Communicate clearly and often
Talking with your spouse is one of the best ways to keep your marriage healthy and successful. Be honest about what you're feeling, but be kind and respectful when you communicate. Part of good communication is being a good listener and taking the time to understand what it is your spouse wants and needs from you. Keep the lines of communication open by talking often, and not just about things like bills and the kids. Share your thoughts and feelings.
Tell your spouse that you're thankful for having them in your life
Appreciate each other, your relationship, your family, and your lives together. Show gratitude when your partner cooks dinner, helps the kids with their homework, or does the grocery shopping. It may help to take a few minutes each evening to tell each other at least one thing you appreciated that day.
Make time for you two as a couple
With work and family responsibilities, it can be easy to lose the romance factor. Plan special dates, either to go out or just stay at home. If you have children, send them on a play date while you relax, talk, and enjoy each other's company.
Plan for some personal time
Alone time is just as important as couple time. Everyone needs time to recharge, think, and enjoy personal interests. That time is often lost when you're married, especially if you have kids. Go out with friends, take a class, or do volunteer work, whatever you find enriching. When you're back together with your spouse, you'll appreciate each other even more.
Understand that it's OK to disagree
You won't agree on everything, but it is important to be fair and respectful during disagreements. Listen to your spouse's point of view. Try not to get angry and don't let yourself become too frustrated. Walk away and calm down if you need to, then discuss the problem again when you're both in a better frame of mind. Compromise on problems so that you both give a little.
Build trust
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling are serious threats to the success of a marriage. The more a couple engages in these destructive activities, the more likely they may divorce. Studies indicate that spouses who stay together know how to disagree or argue without being hostile and to take responsibility for their actions. They are also more likely to respond quickly to each other’s wishes to make up after fights and repair the relationship.
Learn to forgive
Everyone makes mistakes. Your spouse may hurt your feelings or do something that upsets you, and that may make you angry, even furious. But it's important to deal with your feelings, let them go, and move on. Don’t keep bringing up the past.
Remember to remain committed to your spouse, your family, and the life that you have built together. Support each other emotionally and in everyday ways. You, your spouse, and your relationship may grow and change with time, but these ideas can help your marriage stay successful over the years.
FAQs
There are three main things that happily married couples do to maintain a healthy relationship. They are committed, communicate well and aren't afraid to compromise. These are the three C's of happy marriage.
What are the 3 C's of a successful marriage? ›
There are three main things that happily married couples do to maintain a healthy relationship. They are committed, communicate well and aren't afraid to compromise. These are the three C's of happy marriage.
What is the number one key to a successful marriage? ›
The ability to talk and listen to each other is one key to a healthy marriage. You should never assume your partner knows what you are thinking or feeling. Tell your spouse what is going on—and as a spouse, know when to simply listen. Learning to really hear your partner is a skill that may require practice.
What are the 7 keys to happy marriage? ›
Gottman's 7 Principles
- 1) Sharing love maps.
- 2) Nurturing fondness and admiration.
- 3) Turning toward each other, instead of away.
- 4) Letting your partner influence you.
- 5) Solving your solvable problems.
- 6) Overcoming gridlock.
- 7) Creating shared meaning together.
A successful marriage is the greatest gift, that two people can give and receive. A commitment to maintain as individuals, the strength of each of these three pillars; Integrity; Respect; and Endurance - will ensure a legacy of love, which will withstand, for generations to come...
What are the 3 P's of marriage? ›
Well, a man's love can be boiled down to three actions, or the Three P's of Love: Profess, Provide, and Protect.
What are the 3 R's in marriage? ›
Basically it comes down to three important things — resilience, respect, and responsiveness. Showing respect is one of the most powerful, loving things a couple can do in their marriage. Remember the childhood expression “Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never harm me.” Well, that's a myth.
What is the #1 rule of marriage? ›
“Treat your spouse the way you wish to be treated.”
That's it. The #1 rule for building a happy marriage.
What are the three words for a happy marriage? ›
Keep seeking help, then, so that you can overcome conflicts and prevent even more hurt for you and your children.” The pope also reminded couples that “forgiveness heals every wound.” “Think about the advice I gave you on the importance of those three little words: 'please, thanks, sorry,'” the pontiff wrote.
What is the biggest predictor of a successful marriage? ›
Top 5 Predictors of Marital Success
- Number 1 – Above average sexual satisfaction. ...
- Number 2 – Above average commitment. ...
- Number 3 – Above average generosity to your spouse. ...
- Number 4 – Above average attitude towards raising children. ...
- Number 5 for wives – Social Support. ...
- Number 5 for husbands – Marital spirituality.
Follow the four golden rules – don't lie, keep your promises, argue productively and always play nice – and your relationship will never go anywhere but forward.
What are the 5 C's of marriage? ›
These components are communication, compatibility, commitment, care and compromise. Heller found that the happiest individuals in his research were those who could identify all five of these elements in their romantic relationships. Let's take a look at them.
What are the four pillars of an unhappy marriage? ›
Certain kinds of negativity, if allowed to run rampant, are so lethal to a relationship that we call them the Four Horsem*n of the Apocalypse. Usually, these four horsem*n clip-clop into the heart of a marriage in the following order: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
What are the 3 A's of marriage? ›
The three A's for increasing relationship happiness include expressing appreciation, admiration, and affection. Consistency in conveying these will increase your individual and your relationship happiness.
What is the secret of successful marriage life? ›
Marriages take work, commitment, and love, but they also need respect to be truly happy and successful. A marriage based on love and respect doesn't just happen. Both spouses have to do their part.
What are the 3 values of marriage? ›
At times, despite your best efforts, marriage can be a challenge to navigate. But with commitment, love, respect, and trust, you and your partner can make it work even through the tough times.
What are the three C's of a happy relationship? ›
A strong and healthy relationship is built on the three C's: Communication, Compromise and Commitment.
What are the 3 foundations of marriage? ›
The three foundations of marriage are the marital friendship, the marital love affair, and repair of injuries. The marital friendship is the time, energy, love, attention, and play you share with your spouse. Like a good friend, you value time with your spouse and plan fun activities.
