Hosting an epic bachelorette party isn't an easy task: You have to plan a celebration the bride-to-be will love (your main priority!) while accommodating her many bridesmaids who likely have their own opinions about how this event should unfold. To help stop conflict in its tracks, it's helpful to know the basics of bachelorette party etiquette—which is where we come in. Ahead, you will find a comprehensive set of guidelines that will get you through the preparation phase. From setting the right date and creating a guest list to deciding who pays for what, here's everything you need to know about planning a bachelorette party that everyone feels good about.
The first step in doing so revolves around deciding who is throwing the event. Though the responsibility of planning a bachelorette party typically falls on the maid of honor, anyone can fulfill the role. Yes, the bride likely ultimately will decide on this pre-wedding party's location, theme, and dress code—but it's the planner's job to bring her vision to life. That means discussing finances with attendees, sending out invites, keeping track of who gifted what, and, perhaps most importantly, defusing tension within the bridal party. Luckily, these bachelorette party etiquette tips and tricks will help you manage it all without feeling overwhelmed.
Ideally, these rules will ensure that your fun destination trip, staycation at a spa, or festive night on the town goes off without a hitch. As long as you follow the advice ahead and keep the occasion all about the bride, you really can't go wrong.
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When should you throw the party?
A bachelorette party usually takes place around two months before the wedding, but can be thrown within weeks of the main event, too. We suggest planning this celebration a few months ahead of the big day so the bride doesn't feel overbooked with pre-wedding commitments so close to the date. Just don't schedule your celebration too far in advance—you want the excitement from this party to hold the bride over until her nuptials finally arrive.
The maid of honor is most often the bachelorette party planner, but anyone can put together the bride's gathering. A tip to the organizer: Make sure to talk to the attendees first to see how much they can spend. Normally, everyone pays their own way, with the hostess covering the cost for the bride (unless 'maids or invitees are asked to chip in).
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Who Should Be Invited?
Whoever throws the bachelorette party will likely consult with the bride on the guest list, which should include the wedding party (minus any junior 'maids), sisters, and close girlfriends. If the bride has a future sister-in-law she's looking to bond with, feel free to include her, too—just as long as the guest of honor approves.
Is It Okay to Invite People to the Bachelor Party Who Aren't Invited to the Wedding?
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How Should You Celebrate?
The bachelorette party is typically the final soirée before the wedding (besides the rehearsal dinner), so a relaxing escape, rather than a wild weekend, might be the bride's preference. Surprises are fun, but the host should keep the bride's personality in mind. There's no need to plan a wild escapade if she'd prefer an activity like relaxing at a friend's cabin, taking a private cooking class, or hitting the local ski slopes (an après ski-only trip works, too).
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Should You Send Out Invitations?
Formal bachelorette party invites aren't always necessary; hosts can get the word out via email, phone, or a site like Paperless Post. Just make sure to send them well in advance (especially if you are planning a weekend-long event!) so guests can clear their schedules.
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What Should You Gift the Bride-to-Be?
Bachelorette party gifts aren't mandatory, but they are nice. If you are shopping for a bachelorette party present for the bride-to-be, think outside of her wedding registry. Lingerie, for example, is a fun gift option perfect for the intimate occasion. Also, consider the bride's beauty and self-care routine leading up to her big day. A gift card for a massage or blow out between the rehearsal dinner and bridal shower could go a long way.
Bachelorette Party Gifts 101: What You Need to Know About Pre-Wedding Party Presents
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Should You Have a Dress Code?
Dressing up in coordinated or thematic outfits for a bachelorette party can be a fun idea, but remember that some guests might have limitations. Not everyone can afford a planned elaborate costume for one evening. If that is the case, but you still want to look cohesive, try implementing general dress code guidelines—think beachy or Grecian-inspired attire.
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How Should You Go About Sending Thank-You Cards?
Pen-and-paper notes (not emails, texts, posts, or tweets!) are the only polite way to show appreciation for guests—you should send them to each attendee, thanking them for coming. (If they brought a gift, be sure to mention it in the note!)
The best rule of thumb is that the bride should cover any expenses that incur before she travels, such as her travel and the booking of her hotel room, but once she arrives, the cost of the day-to-day activities should not be her concern.
We recommend sending out a Google form (or other survey) to gather everyone's thoughts in one place. Ask questions like, 'Would you be willing to spend money on travel and accommodations for the party?'or 'What's your maximum personal budget for the bachelorette party?' .
Exactly who pays for the bachelorette party will depend on the specific situation, but most commonly, the cost is split evenly between the attendants. Everyone is responsible for covering their own expenses, such as meals and accommodation, while also splitting the cost to cover most—or all—of the bride's expenses.
Sure, it's unconventional, but if you want your mom to tag along on your bachelorette party, by all means, invite her. You may want a few of your fun aunts to come, and dare we say, even your future mother-in-law, too.
Many people choose to celebrate their bachelorette party at a bar or club, but other fun ideas include enjoying a spa day, going on a beach trip, or even going wine tasting. No matter what the activity is, the most important thing is that the bride and her friends have a good time!
On average, women spend about $250 per day on a bachelorette party, with one-day bachelorettes starting on the low end of around $150, and five-day bachelorettes reaching around $1900 on the higher end.
There has recently been a trend where mothers, mothers-in-law and other parental figures are extended an invitation, but only in unique circ*mstances. Most notably, you may feel more inclined to invite your mom if you have an extremely tight-knit bond.
The bride should always get the final say over whom she wants at her party since this is her special day! Inviting only those the bride decides on ensures that no one feels left out or unwelcome at her celebration.
This traditional girls-only event includes the bride, bridesmaids and the maid or matron of honor--although by today's standards, you can invite whoever you want, regardless of gender or whether or not they're in the wedding party.
This is totally unacceptable. You should send out wedding invitations to everyone who attended your bachelorette party. Even if they are a lot of fun, you shouldn't invite them to your bachelor/bachelorette party if you aren't also inviting them to the wedding.
It entirely depends on your dynamic with your mother. If you feel extremely comfortable and your bridesmaids agree, you can call your mother to your bachelorette party. However, if you don't want your mom to be there, you need to be upfront and honest with her.
Usually, bachelorettes include a range of activities from going out on the town, to hanging around and chatting, to playing games and sharing gifts for the bride. The weekend can be as wild or as relaxed as the bride would like it to be. One of the most common activities is to hit up a bar or club for a night out.
A bachelorette party is usually planned by the maid of honor. The maid of honor will utilize the wedding team of brides maids that you put together to plan and coordinate the ultimate surprise. However, planning travel and certain events cannot be done without your involvement.
Introduction: My name is Dan Stracke, I am a homely, gleaming, glamorous, inquisitive, homely, gorgeous, light person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.
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