You've been invited to both a bridal shower and a wedding—congrats! It's always nice to know that friends or family members want you to participate in their special celebration and the events leading up to the big day. But one question guests are often faced with is whether you must purchase both a gift for the bridal shower and a gift for the wedding day.
If you're unsure about the proper etiquette around gift-giving during big wedding events, fear not. We ask an industry expert and etiquette extraordinaire all about the difference between bridal shower gifting and wedding gifts—and whether or not both are necessary for guests invited to both of these events.
Should I bring a gift to both the bridal shower and the wedding?
The short answer here is: Yes. Technically, these are two separate events, and traditionally, it is proper etiquette for guests to show up to the bridal shower with a gift, and also purchase a gift for the wedding (this is typically done via a wedding registry, but it's also fine to bring a present in-person to the wedding).
"Since these are two separate occasions, and often the registryfor both is different, sending or bringing a gift to each is appropriate," explains etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, owner ofThe Protocol School of Texas. "It's best to send the wedding gift ahead of time so you don’t have to carry it to the wedding," she notes.
What if I can't afford to bring a gift to both events?
We're no stranger to the fact that being a wedding guest can get very pricey, very fast. Between gifts, buying or renting an outfit, attending pre-wedding events, and travel/accommodation costs, being a wedding guest is expensive—especially when you have multiple weddings a year. If you're feeling like you can't swing purchasing both a bridal shower gift and a wedding shower gift, it's most likely that the marrying couple will understand—your presence is the real present!
If you do find yourself in this situation and want to give the couple a gift for both events, Gottsman recommends dividing your gift budget in half and splitting it between two smaller presents. "It’s all about how you spend your dollars on the gift," she explains. "If you are invited to a shower, it would probably be uncomfortable to show up without a gift, and the same for the wedding," she says. "However, spending a much smaller amount [each gift] and making them sentimental and meaningful—not expensive—is the key."
Should I send a gift to the couple if I can't attend the shower or the wedding?
If you're unable to attend the shower or the wedding (don't forget to RSVP on time!), Gotssman advises that whether or not to still send a gift is a bit nuanced. "It depends on the relationship you share," she says. "If you aren’t a good friend or family member, and you aren’t planning on attending either one (or only attending one), you can just bring a gift to the particular celebration you attend," she explains. "If you are a very close family member or friend, you can decide how you will feel the next time you see [the couple]." By this, she means if you think you'll be stressed about whether they'd notice that you didn't send a gift in lieu of your attendance, you should send one. However, if you think the couple simply won't mind either way, then it's fine to pass on the gift.
If you're not that close with the marrying couple (colleagues, newer friends, etc.) keep in mind that sending a congratulatory card in lieu of a gift is a nice idea. Kind words go a long way!
FAQs
Yes, traditional wedding gift etiquette indicates that if you've been invited to the bridal shower and to the wedding, you should bring a gift to both.
Do you give both a shower and wedding gift? ›
Technically, these are two separate events, and traditionally, it is proper etiquette for guests to show up to the bridal shower with a gift, and also purchase a gift for the wedding (this is typically done via a wedding registry, but it's also fine to bring a present in-person to the wedding).
How much should I give for a bridal shower and wedding gift? ›
Also, if you happen to be attending multiple events for the couple, consider this as well: you can use the 60-20-20 rule, which means spending 20 percent of your total budget on an engagement party gift, 20 percent on a gift for the bridal shower, and 60 percent for the actual wedding gift.
What is the difference between a bridal shower and a wedding shower gift? ›
In contrast to the bridal shower, wedding shower gifts should be items that the couple can use and enjoy together. These are typically taken from the wedding registry, but guests can also choose gifts that speak to the couple's relationship.
What is the etiquette for bridal shower gifts? ›
Typically, guests will bring smaller home items like a pair of coffee mugs or a throw blanket, wedding luxuries like a special getting-ready 'fit or cake-cutting set, or travel essentials they can use on their honeymoon.
What is an appropriate amount of money for a wedding gift? ›
The average wedding gift is $100 per wedding guest. But many factors can nudge that gift amount up or down. Make sure you aren't giving more than you can afford.
Is $100 enough for a bridal shower gift? ›
According to Opperman, bridal shower gifts tend to be less expensive than wedding gifts. "Many people spend around $50 to $75, whereas closer friends and family may spend upwards of $100," she says. "However, the amount you want to spend is up to you."
Is $1000 a good wedding gift? ›
While the amount you should gift a couple depends on a number of factors, data from The Knot reveals that U.S. wedding guests spend an average of $160 on cash gifts. "It's common to give anywhere from $100 to $1,000. I often see the card box on the gift table oozing with overstuffed envelopes," Burton says.
What is the average price for a wedding gift? ›
According to the experts, the average wedding gift amount hovers right around $100 to $150, though that can increase or decrease based on how close you are to the couple and whether or not you're attending with a plus one.
What is a good amount to spend on a bridal shower? ›
A bridal shower with simple refreshments at the host's home, for example, can cost $10 to $15 or less per person, according to CostHelper.com. You just need to employ some creative tips for budget bridal showers to make the event more affordable.
Giving a cash gift is usually fine at either the shower or the big day, but actual gifts are typically the preference—especially if the bride is opening presents for guests to see. Gift cards are especially suitable for showers, while cash and checks are more common at weddings.
What gifts do you get for a bridal shower? ›
Traditionally, a bridal shower is a celebration of the bride's upcoming marriage and an opportunity to give useful presents like appliances, china settings, and serving pieces from the couple's registry.
Do you give party favors at a bridal shower? ›
Bridal shower favors are not required, though they are a nice thank you for your guests, says Sarah Miller, an Event Director with Paulette Wolf Events.
Is it rude to not bring a gift to a bridal shower? ›
If you're attending a bridal shower, you should always bring a gift with you to congratulate the bride. This is considered good bridal shower etiquette. Even if you're a part of the bridal party or wedding party, a gift is still necessary.
Who usually pays for a bridal shower? ›
In short, the host is the one who pays for the bridal shower—or at least some of it. Most commonly, this is the maid of honor, but the couple's relatives, friends or even the to-be-weds themselves can all pitch in to cover the cost of the wedding shower.
What to get a bride that has everything? ›
To help narrow down your options we've gathered a list with a little bit of everything!
- MEJURI PEARL DROP EARRINGS ...
- ANTHROPOLOGIE NOSTALGIA EAU DE PERFUME. ...
- BÉIS WEEKENDER BAG. ...
- THE ULTIMATE MUSE PEARL DRESS BY ODDMUSE. ...
- BRIDE STATEMENT SWEATSHIRT BY SIX STORIES. ...
- PARTY OSTRICH FEATHER-TRIM 2-PIECE.
- MEJURI TRAVEL CASE.
In short, the answer is not necessarily, says Swann—you don't have to give a wedding gift if you ultimately send your regrets. Whether you do or don't send a gift, however, will come down to your relationship with the couple.
What is wedding gift etiquette? ›
Don't Bring the Gift to The Wedding
Generally speaking, however, it's not considered proper wedding gift etiquette to bring a gift to a wedding (the exception being a card with a check). While you should bring a shower gift to the actual shower, it's easier for the couple if you send a wedding gift to their home.
What is the general rule for a gift that is appropriate for a couple's shower? ›
"Each couple has their own particular needs and requests," says Gottsman. "A registry is the basic indicator of what you should buy." Some couples will set up a registry specifically for the event, while others will include those items on their main registry.
