By accepting a wedding invitation, you're officially agreeing to follow every wedding guest etiquette rule, including buying the happy couple a gift. However, accepting an invitation also means bearing the costs of travel, lodging, and other day-of expenses, which can put a serious dent in your budget and hinder what you're able to afford. Sounds expensive, right? At this point, you may be asking yourself, "Is it even possible to balance every financial obligation and still give a great wedding gift?"
The answer is simple: It's okay to factor in your other expenses when deciding what to gift to a newly married couple. "A wedding guest should always give what they feel best celebrates the occasion, taking into account their budget as well as their closeness with the couple," explains wedding expert Sara Margulis. But before you decide to give the newlyweds a random amount of money—or purchase an arbitrary item—it is important to be aware of the average (and recommended) amount a guest should consider spending on a wedding gift.
Meet the Expert
- Sara Margulis is the CEO ofHoneyfund, a free honeymoon registry website.
- Elizabeth Priya Kumar is the founder and creative director ofPremini Events, a New York City and LA-based event planning company.
- Anthony Navarro is a planner for Liven It Up Events, a full-service wedding and event planning and production company.
- Allison Cullman is a wedding etiquette and registry expert at Zola, an online wedding registry and planning website.
To provide you with more insight, we asked several experts to share everything you need to know when deciding how much to spend on a friend or family member's wedding day gift. Read on for more.
6 Common Wedding Gift Mistakes Guests Make
The Average Wedding Gift Amount
According to the experts, the average wedding gift amount hovers right around $100 to $150, though that can increase or decrease based on how close you are to the couple and whether or not you're attending with a plus one. "While it varies based on demographic, region, and culture, the average amount that I’ve seen a guest spend on a wedding gift has traditionally been in the $100 to $150 per guest attending range," shares wedding planner Elizabeth Priya Kumar.
"A lot of this ideology came into fruition when the notion was that you should 'pay for your plate.' A fancy meal in America right now will end up costing around that, so the thought was that the guest attending would cover their own meal," Kumar continues. Wedding planner Anthony Navarro echos that sentiment, sharing, “If you think the couple getting married is spending an average of $100 to $150 per person at their wedding, the price of your gift should equal that amount."
How Much to Spend by Relationship
Though the average wedding gift amount is within the $100 to $150 range, your relationship with the couple will greatly influence how much (or little) you should ultimately spend. So for an average based on your relationship with the couple, take a look at wedding etiquette and registry expert Allison Cullman's breakdown below.
- Coworkers and distant relatives: $50 to $70, on average
- Friends: $75 to $100, on average
- Close family, best friends, and the wedding party: $100 to $150+, on average
Of course, personal finances and budgets will impact what you can ultimately afford, so these numbers aren't set in stone and should only be used as a reference point. "If you're attending with a plus-one, it’s customary to double the gift amount," adds Cullman.
The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Registries
How to Budget for Wedding Gifts
While attending a wedding can be expensive, there are ways to help minimize expenses, as highlighted below.
Only spend what you can afford.
It seems easy enough, but this one’s worth mentioning: Limit your investment to what you can actually afford, even if it’s less than what etiquette suggests. If you can’t find a single item that fits your budget, consider purchasing a few smaller items to total an amount that works for you. (It’s also a great way to help the couple stock their home with items that are often overlooked, like measuring spoons or cutting boards.)
The couple wants you to be there to celebrate with them, so prioritize your budget however you need to make that happen—even if that means a smaller gift so you can cover the cost of the hotel room. This is especially true for individuals in the wedding party, who may have to spend a significant amount on pre-wedding activities and attire, and thus may not be able to afford the average amount.
Know when you don't need to give a gift.
While gifts are expected at the wedding and bridal shower, stretch your budget by remembering when you don’t have to bring one. For example, gifts are not expected at the engagement party (though a card congratulating the couple is a nice touch). And if you’ve contributed serious time or money by helping out with the wedding, like hosting the bridal shower or serving as the bride’s makeup artist on the wedding day, you’re not expected to spend on a gift, too. By only bringing gifts to events where they are expected, the money you have to spend will go a lot farther.
FAQ
Is it okay to not give a wedding gift?
As a general rule of thumb, it is never a good idea to not give a couple a wedding gift," explains Kumar. "After all, the couple is treating their guests to an experience of a lifetime and honoring their presence."
Cullman adds, "While it is customary to give a gift—it doesn’t always have to be something physical. It could be a small contribution to a honeymoon fund, an item of sentimental significance (like a book), or a kind gesture that would help the couple before or on their day (like corralling friend groups for photo opportunities)."
How much should I spend on a gift if I'm not attending the wedding?
Etiquette dictates that a wedding gift is not required if you are unable to attend someone's wedding—though guests who are close to the couple should consider sending a small gift or card.
Do I have to purchase a gift for a destination wedding?
Though you aren't required to provide a standard gift when attending a destination wedding—especially if you're paying for flights and accomodations—it is recommended that you send the couple a small token, like a card, a bottle of wine, or something handmade.
8 Ways to Give Money as a Wedding Gift
